I knew Beth would be back. She didn’t give up that easily. I could picture my name on a post-it in her office. Slapped on the wall. Beth took her post-its very seriously. When I threw away some of them when she edited my manuscript…they reappeared in the next round of edits. Her post-its were not to be ignored…and definitely not thrown away. My name would stay on that little yellow square until I said “yes”.
I wanted to tell her I liked the idea of writing the stories. I enjoyed thinking of them as A Book. I could even picture myself at the launch, shyly accepting congratulations and writing clever inscriptions for eager buyers.
It was the doing of that writing that had me avoiding all of Beth’s calls and emails. I am basically lazy. There it is. I should say I am lazy intellectually speaking. Give me a room to clean, laundry to do, dishes to wash and I am Ms. Energy Herself. But just the thought of sitting down to write stirs up gaseous feelings of inertia, self doubt and terror. Did I need that?
I started to whine to the cats about how hard it would be for me. They yawned. I told them of my addiction to Free Cell and Skittles from the first book. They didn’t buy it. Finally, I cried of my shaky self confidence in my abilities to write. They left the room.
I called Beth…