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If you want to ruin an otherwise perfectly fine cloudy, humid day in Toronto, make a call to Bell. It’s not just any call — it is the third time in two weeks I’ve had to call about the same problem that they promised me each of the other two times would be taken care of in 24 hours. Does Bell operate on a different time scale than you or I? Is 24 hours in Bell-land the equivalent of 24 months, years, eons, lifetimes? I’m 70 years old and cannot waste much more of these “precious” days of mine getting upset over really, really bad customer service.

I read somewhere that Bell rated LAST  in customer satisfaction from all other carriers. You’d think after that, they’d try to do better. But, obviously, they don’t care. What does it matter? In Oh Canada, they are one of only two choices — I think — since all the smaller folks are owned by the top two. Isn’t that a monopoly? Shouldn’t we do something about this.

By the way, as I write this, I am ONCE AGAIN on hold with some person who promises to connect me with the “Level Two” technicians in the Philippines or the Balkans or Costa Rica or, perhaps, Oh Canada, to “resolve” my problem. I have already been on the phone for an hour this morning and am waiting still. There seems to be a long queue of people impatiently sitting on their phones waiting for these Second Level Technicians to “resolve” their problems too. Since these are the same technicians who, presumably, received the request from my first phone call two weeks ago and then from the second one this week, I’m not terribly confident that they’ll, magically, get it resolved before I have to go to the doctor in an hour. Maybe I should have waited until after I saw her since now my blood pressure will be topping out and she’ll ask me a hundred questions and I’ll answer them all with the word, “Bell!”

Well, the lovely lady did not connect me with the Technicians but with the “Level Two Billing”. Since I had her on the line, I thought it would be a good idea to make my pitch for a few free months of internet to balance out my wasted hours of life spent on the phone. Then I could have more wasted hours of life watching Netflix, eh? Anyway, she’s gone now, and I’m listening to awful music, yet again. She has gone in search of that elusive “Second Tier Technical” department that, evidently, is keeping all of us Bell customers connected to the wonderful world of the internet. Rather, who are not keeping us connected.  Maybe they’re all off having a siesta. Do they have siestas in the Philippines? Or are they at lunch in Canada? Where the hell are they? Those technicians are certainly not taking care of business.

Maybe it is time that I leave Bell-La-La-Land. I can now take my phone number with me wherever I go, so why stay? I know enough techie people who would help me look after my internet needs and find a way for me to watch PBS and Jeopardy. I’ve already changed my email address so I could get rid of that “sympatico” one which isn’t very simpatico at all. Oh such decision to make at this stage of my life! I’m not good at this stuff. I can face change — and have lots of times in my life — but I feel a huge cloud of inertia creeping down onto my shoulders when I think about moving on. But, really, what’s the advantage of staying vs leaving? My, this is starting to sound like a major break up — and it would be. I’ve been with Bell more years than I was in either of my long-term relationships. Bell has been with me since my first ding-a-ling telephone I had in DC. And is anyone else out there any better? I just don’t know. I’ll have to think about it some more.

Well, finally, someone did come on the phone, but not a Second Level God, no just another first-level grunt to take all the same information that I had given the other two. When I asked if I could talk directly with the Second Level Technicians he said, “Oh, no, they don’t have phones. They only work from tickets.” It seems that the other two guys I talked to made small errors in their tickets and thus the delay. I don’t believe it, I really don’t. This fellow promised me upon my asking that he’d call me Monday morning — my time — to confirm that all is well with my life in Bell-land.

In the meantime, I think I better meet with my Social Media and All Things Technical Guru, Sarah, and start to plan strategy for change when those files don’t migrate and I have to move on from Bell-land.