We’re having a Saturday afternoon ice storm as I sit here in the warm Chai shop sipping an elixir. It is January-awful weather in April when, really, spring flowers should be blooming — even in Toronto. But, it is dramatic enough that even in its awfulness it is something to be beheld and experienced. I always find that’s true with any extreme weather happening whether it’s frigidly cold weather or a record-breaking heat wave. I may not enjoy it but I feel more alive having experienced it. However, I reserve my right to complain to holy heaven tomorrow morning when all this freezes and I’m trying to get to the pool for an 8:20 am class.
But even with the awful weather I’m in a good mood — not great but good. I feel like I’m on the cusp of something wonderful. I’m not jumping up and singing and dancing across the floor probably as poorly as Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone did in La-La Land — I’m sorry if you thought that movie was terrific and the choreography outstanding. All I can advise is for you to watch some old Ginger Rogers and Fred Astair movies or, better, West Side Story and you’ll see what I’m talking about. Yeah, I know I’m showing my age there but good is good and mediocre is mediocre — but, I’m happy enough today to say out loud, right here, I’m glad I’m alive.
I’m feeling this way because I have, at last, found my new home. This long, heart-breaking and tear-filled journey is at an end. After months of looking through internet sites at apartments that were too dark or too expensive or too far away or were filled with students, I have found a place to live.
When I went to look at it on Wednesday, I took my friend, Judith, with me as security because I can easily and often doubt my own perception of places — especially after looking for so long unsuccessfully. Judith is the most straight-forward, honest, caring and no-BS person I know — and, besides she has lived in a building — something I’ve never done — and in this particular neighbourhood for over 20 years. She would have eyes that saw things I wouldn’t even see. I, also, knew that if she hated it and thought I’d – and more importantly her god cats — would be unhappy there, she would take me by the hand and lead me out of there ASAP no matter how close I was to filling out an application. So, when she declared, “I could live here.” as we walked over piles of old clothes and trash of the current tenants, I knew I had found home.
And, even though I didn’t think I’d ever admit to this, I feel, now, that it is good that my new home is not in my old neighbourhood, which I love crazily. If you’re pushing for new adventures to come into your life, sometimes you just have to leave the comfort and the safeness of what you know and love behind so that you’re looking at the world in a slightly different light. Maybe I can say this because the new place is still close enough that I can get to this Chai shop in 15 minutes and hang out with my friends in this neighbourhood — who are so very dear to me and my sense of well-being — while, at the same time exploring a whole new world of cafes and people and smells and possibilities.
I know my mood will continue to be as unpredictable as this spring weather, but for now, at this moment, in this too-warm chai shop and in spite of icy sidewalks, I am in a good mood.